Cape Town - Weeks 40 - 41

With my adventures in Southern Africa only a few days behind me, I threw away any opportunity of rest & relaxation and reopened Mark’s Travel Guide Services & Hostel to now my 6th set of visitors: “The Randoms.” Of my three newest female visitors, only one I knew, and that was because we had met through a mutual friend for a period of basically less than 4 hours (pretty much BFFs). Yet, when you live in Africa, even this slight resemblance of a relationship is excuse enough to travel half-way across the world to visit (this sort of popularity back in middle school definitely would have saved my parents countless trips to Mervyn’s to replace my wegdie-torn whitie tighties).

And although I would usually complete one of my guest-related blogs with a section of “trip highlights,” I am at a loss of how to do so. See, although I did not truly know any of the three girls that came to visit, the “uncomfort level” with one another all but disappeared after less than 12 hours spent by eachothers side. This, unfortunately for my parent’s sake, allowed free reign for one of my lesser-known side personalities to reveal itself: “Mahk - The immature, yet outgoing, pre-pubescent-like boy incapable of uttering anything but random noises, crude comments, and a well-timed combination of the two.”

Thus, although we DID have incredible highlights from the trip, they are mere copies of past trips (which would probably be quite dull to have to re-read again as a loyal blog reader) as well as quite censorable in their nature (any future presidents of the US would be immediately disqualified). So, instead, I leave you with a newly-created section in my blogs: “What happens when three Mahk’s have free reign to run around Africa?” (Only three, as the 4th in our group decided not to revert to a 3rd-grade way of being)

1. Flatmate Detest – The wish for my return home by my loving parents has finally been matched, as my flatmate easily developed this desire after experiencing my newest set of guests. With a cumulative total of 5 nights being woken up in the middle of the night by drunken food making, random loud noise production, and a few semi-awkward 5:30AM arguments, my fulfillment as an easily-liveable person has been shot to shit. Thanks girls! I owe ya!

2. Inability to Hold a Conversation – All I can really say in this matter (without having the mental image of my mom, hand over her forehead in embarrassment in front of the computer thinking of all her friends that are reading this right now) is to give an example of our MOST intellectual conversation:

“What time are we leaving today?”
“I don’t know.”
(Yeah, that’s pretty much it…)

3. Broken “Male Parts” – I know that pregnancy is probably one of the most painful events for any woman to experience, but I also think that every woman needs to experience the pain associated with a well-placed punch to the male groin region. Indescribable burning. Loss of breath. And a basic desire to fall into a month-long coma to avoid the mind-numbing feeling. (And yes Lindsay, it STILL hurts. You may have possibly killed any chance of carrying on my namesake… )

4. Mas Amigos – With my holding of friends in South Africa resembling that of a well-tuned recycling factory, I managed to beef up my recent losses, by adding a few new “compadres” to the roster. I mean, what guys DON’T want to hangout with you when you have three slightly alcoholic, yet oh-so-beautiful (points, points, score me points) Americans following you around for two weeks??

5. http://www.urbandictionary.com/ - Elderly readers beware – Try to avoid any words commencing with the letter combinations of “peni” and “vagi” as these will produce undesirable results. : ) (For a complete list of “most hilarious” discovered words & phrases during our trip, please feel free to send me an email with the subject line of “I’m almost as immature as you” and I will respond accordingly)

6. Emotional Breakdown – My experience over the past few weeks has made me realize that I am quite an emotional person, unable to avoid being effected by potential “heartbreaking” situations. Best example = The song “The World Will Know” in the movie “The Newsies” (Try watch this scene and NOT feel overcome by a wide set of varying emotions). Note: Please do not confuse my desire to watch thousands of little boys chanting in unison as any semblance of pedophilia.

7. Political Annoyance – I think the words “vote” and “Obama” were thrown at us almost a dozen times a day, as the entire world has been overcome with “Bama Fever.” My favorite conversation was probably this:

Lindsay: “I can’t stand when people keep asking me who I am going to vote for.”
Random South African Girl: “Yeah, that must be annoying. But really, who do you think you are going to vote for?”

On an additional note, we have decided to formally introduce the “Bama Pound” into existence. To partake in the Bama Pound, one must refer to something that is potentially positive/hype (e.g. Change, Newsies Clips, Harrison Ford) and proceed to utter “Baaaaaaaa-ma” while pounding fists.

Well, I leave you for now loyal blog readers, as I have much sleep to catch up on, a brain to attempt to revitalize, and of course about 300 ice packs to help soothe my aching “malehood.” Onto the pics:

	Me and the Gals: Jen, Lindsay & Jess
	Partying it up at Mercury
	Jen becoming one of the locals - "What are you sayyyyyyyyyying?"
	Maturity starting off on a high-note
	Lots of things going on in this pic are pretty questionable
	Playing the world-renowned Cape Town Putt Putt course (notice the difficulty in the perfectly flat, no-obstacle-filled holes)
	Two elephants attempting to makeout
	After much frustration, one elephant decided to charge us instead... thank god the car was on
	King of the Jungle in a semi-awkward position
	Damn monkey that stole my BarOne chocolate bar
	Enjoying my role as "Dad"
	Sunning myself
	Richness
	More richness