Cape Town - Weeks 32 - 33

Loyal blog readers, I welcome you to one of the more exciting blogs from my trip to South Africa. I write to you today, not as a foreign visitor traveling about a distant land, but instead as a proud and newly-declared citizen of the Republic of South Africa. After 8 long months of waiting, Home Affairs (i.e. the government-run office headed by South Africa’s finest headless chickens) granted me citizenship, and thus welcomed me to my new homeland - a land full of pride, hope, and of course power outages every Tuesday between 2-4pm. Not only can I come and go as I please now, without having to worry about my ever-so-invalid visa giving me issues, I also can vote (choosing between politicians that would give Kwame Kilpatrick a run for his money in a how-corrupt-can-you-possibly-be type election) as well as join the army (in case the sudden urge to go to war with a distant tribal village ever pops up). Most importantly however, I can finally obtain a true, well-paying (well not really), job.

With a flight home less than four months away (Aug 19th to be precise), and a home in Royal Oak struggling to maintain a value above $100 (arsonists feel free to have your way with it), I decided to focus my efforts on acquiring a job, in order to help fund my remaining months here in Cape Town. With plenty of “real” jobs in Cape Town, which would be amazing references and resume-fillers for future opportunities back home, I instead opted for a more, 19-year-old-living-with-their-parents-in-the-basement type job, as to stick with the theme of my year away: “Ahhh… f*ck it”

Thus, starting Monday, I will officially be working as a ThundaCat for www.thunda.com – An online website that provides social photography throughout all of South Africa. 2-3 nights a week, I will travel from bar to bar, club to club, taking almost 500 pictures per night of patrons in their finest states of drunkenness. From Cape Town’s elite females, revealing their pre-rehearsed Blue Steel-esque poses to utter perfection (slight body turn, head tilted somewhat downwards, pouty lips, and of course eyes that only say “I… am… so… Hot”) to those at the local dive bar, struggling their best to keep their drunken eyes open long enough for one semi-sober shot. Three hours later, with approximately $20 more in my pocket (hello early retirement!), I shed my uniform (picture to be posted next blog), and join the party for the evening.

Although my official employment commences tonight, my era of unofficial employment came to an end on a relatively interesting note last week. After having the distinct pleasure of being a website developer, assistant plumber, newspaper photographer, home mover/decorator and literary market researcher, I spent my final three days of unofficial employment as the equivalent of the driver in Driving Miss Daisy. Although instead of Miss Daisy, I had the distinct opportunity to drive around Raymond – A 60-something year old, partially blind, music rep from Jo’Burg. Lacking the ability to see anything outside his direct line-of-sight, I drove Raymond around from mall to mall, store to store, lugging around his box of eccentric and “niche” music.

When not driving Raymond around in my ever-so-reliable Green Monster, I was waiting for him during meetings, either constantly re-parking the car (as I somehow managed to always park on the opposite end of the mall), or practicing my avid mall-walking skills (visiting almost 500 stores in a period of 3 days). And although Raymond was quite nice, he did have his “elderly” moments, especially when yelling at me “you bloody kids think you know everything now-a-days!" (this of course after I attempted to convince Raymond that we couldn't drive down the wrong-way one-way road that led into a jam-packed pedestrian-only mall). Oh, and then of course "I should shove my foot right up your ass" (this after I accidentally walked in/out of Raymond's line-of-sight, almost tripping him if I had only been 5 feet closer... ). I wonder how Raymond a poor old Jay would get along?

Onto the pics (sorry, not too many this week, and most are quite random):

	No caption necessary
	Look who popped into town for a few days!!
	I'll give you one guess what the most popular car in South Africa is...
	A mall in Germany -- anyone recognize where the pictures came from?? (yeah, I'm pretty much famous now)
	Tina Turner/RuPaul performer

Cape Town - Weeks 29 - 31

With the departure of friends and family in the past, and what appeared to be a routine of life kicking back into gear, I decided it was time to test out what else Cape Town had to offer. Passing up the opportunity to laze my days away at the beach, climb many of the various mountains around the city or even catch up on some old Saved by the Bell reruns, I instead opted to go exploring, leaving the confines of my couch behind, out to find any new and random activity to fulfill my daily needs.

Kicking off the randomness was a trip over to the local Grand West Casino, not to partake in gambling (although R200 did magically find its way into my pocket), but instead to test out what Africa is truly known for: Ice Skating. Alongside several friends, we made a day of gambling, drinking and of course ice skating (the three obviously go quite well together). For hours on end, we skated around and around the ONLY ice rink in all Cape Town (Population = ~ 3 million), desperately avoiding the deep gashes in the ice which could easily trap one’s entire skate. When the day was over, I was thankful to have had zero falls, as well as a fond reuniting with the once forgotten sub-freezing temperatures of my cold home back in Michigan.

Random event #2 was a first in a lifetime for me, as myself and my friend Carl went to “fight night” at the local Muay Thai fight club. Similar to kickboxing, Muay Thai is a very traditional art, involving several pre-fight rituals, as both fighters march around the ring, bowing, praying, and doing other ritualistic dances, all while the equivalent of 8th century Chinese techno music plays in the background (just imagine a painfully slow techno song, with the deep beats of the music replaced by strange/eccentric-sounding string and wind instruments). Thus, alongside about 1,000 other blood-thirsty fans, we watched fighters ranging from ages 16-30, partake in 3-4 rounds of kicking, punching, elbowing, and kneeing eachother to defeat. One fighter, aptly named “The Bulldog,” will most likely never be forgotten, as I unfortunately found myself in a very awkward face-to face with him at the post party, after accidentally hitting on his girlfriend while he retrieved a drink for her from the bar. Ummmm… my bad?

While avoiding fatality from the Bulldog wasn’t enough, I decided to cheat death again, this time while participating in random event #3 – The Gyrocopter ride from hell. With two successful Gyrocopter rides in the past, I decided to test my luck in the 50MPH gusting winds of the day, and go up for ride #3. If the overall lack of pictures say anything about this adventure (as holding on was more of an imperative for the flight), it was, to say the least, not too fun. In approximately five minutes, we managed to free fall almost ten times out of the sky, while continuously flying sideways (as pursuing a straight vector would have sent us into an uncontrollable spin). To summarize the day, I will quote my mom’s cousin (the pilot): “Well, that was the worse wind I’ve ever flown in.” (Note: This is coming from a veteran pilot of 10+ years). Good times!

Thus, aside from ice skating in Africa, watching Chinese techno fighting and of course cheating death, the greatest highlight of the past few weeks was one I certainly did not expect whatsoever. Waking up around 10am on a Monday morning, I decided it was time to check my stocks, and see how much money I had worthlessly thrown away into the thriving American economy. Well, to my surprise, my account, which usually fluctuates between $2,000 - $3,000, was instead hovering closer to about $2.4 Million. Yes, I said Million. A small penny stock I had once bought for about $500, had decided to jump up from about $0.18/share to $2000/share on one single trade. For about 10-20 nerve-racking minutes, I tried desperately to rid myself of my shares, and say goodbye to an inevitable future of 9-5 life. Unfortunately, destiny was not on my side this day, as my apparent bought of good luck had turned out more to be a “freak stock market error.” Thus, instead of having $2.4M in my pocket, I instead reverted back to $200, and welcomed the unavoidable future of having to live a “real life.” As they say in South Africa, “Ach, shame.”

Well loyal blog readers, tis all for now. I leave you all with a single request. If anyone has a Slingbox, or knows of anyone with a Slingbox, I would desperately love to watch Michigan play in the Frozen Four (and hopefully championship game), airing this Thursday, 4/10. Please email me at msoskolne@gmail.com if you do, and I will return the favor with my love, and plenty of hugs on my return to the States.

Onto the pics:

	Ice in Africa! (notice the Red Wings pride I'm sporting)
	Muay Thai boxing match - Kickboxing to the beat of 8th century Thai partiers/clubbers
	Dreads vs. The Italian - Matchup of the century
	Trying out my taste in fashion -- I call this style "Home Wrecker"
	View of my neighborhood of Sea Point before sunset
	Camps Bay after sunset
	My 1st care package! Apple Jacks, Rye Chips, Dry Ranch Packages & of course a collared shirt with an interesting logo... what more could i ask for?! (more maybe? hint hint...)