Cape Town - Week 11 - 12

After almost a 3 month period overseas, with extremely limited access to the world of American culture (besides the occasional attempt by my flatmate to state “I’m gonna sue you!” in the worst Southern accent ever), I decided to bring a little bit of the US to South Africa, and host a Thanksgiving dinner. With approximately 15 South Africans attending the celebration of an event that I could not truly explain without the help of Wikipedia, I was the only one with any knowledge of what food comprised our evening meal. And given the fact that the only item I had ever placed in an oven was a California Pizza Kitchen Barbeque & Chicken Pizza (best pizza in the world by the way), cooking was most likely going to be quite an experience. To summarize:

8AM: Wake up

8:30AM: Really wake up (gotta love that snooze button)

8:45AM: Ok, honestly have to get up. Back up alarm just went off…

9:00AM – 12:00PM: Thaw the 16.8 pound turkey (biggest turkey in all of Cape Town as we visited almost 6 stores in our search for it) – Given that no bowl or apparatus in our flat was large enough to hold an entire turkey covered in cold water, we resorted to MacGyver techniques, utilizing over-sized plastic bags filled with water, hanging from the faucet bearings of our sink to keep the turkey immersed. 7 water changes and 8 plastic bags later (as seemingly every plastic bag in our entire house seemed to have some sort of leak), our turkey was defrosted, and ready to be “probed.”

12:00PM – 1:00PM: Pry and prod every hole and cavity of the turkey, in an attempt to remove giblets and neck, neither of which I had ever seen before (more on this later).

1:00PM – 3:00PM: Watch my new favorite straight-to-DVD movie: “Staring at a Turkey: The Special Behind the Scenes Making Of.”

3:01PM: Have a mild panic attack as our turkey, which should be cooking for about 4-5 hours, seems to be already done after a mere 2 hours (4 hours before anyone is set to arrive). After a reassuring Skype call to my mother, who informs me that our meat thermometer is actually in the bone of the turkey, we soon realize our turkey is as done as the roadkill on the street outside.

3:05PM – 6:00PM: Baste, rebaste, foil, refoil, baste, baste, check temp, baste, baste, foil, foil, defoil, foil, baste, check temp, recheck temp, make sure to recheck the checked temp, foil, defoil, baste… done!

6:00PM – 7:00PM: With a complete turkey off to one side, attempt to throw together as many of your patented thanksgiving menu items as possible: Stuffing, Mashed Potatoes, Cranberry Sauce (the most expensive item on our menu, as cranberries do not exist in Africa). As I commence in cooking these items (AKA following premade recipes verbatim), Kevin cuts the turkey, with great frustration – “where is the f*cking wishbone damnit!!... wait, is this the neck? Hahaha, you idiot. You left the entire neck in the turkey!” (the 12-inch neck did not resemble much of the 2-inch gob of crap we originally thought was what supported this once thriving turkeys head)

7:30PM: First guests arrive, 30 minutes late, but perfectly on time by Cape Town standards

9:00PM: Last guest arrives. Still on time somehow because they said they would “be there now now.”

Given that our meal was most likely the unhealthiest Thanksgiving ever (almost a pound of butter was used in the process), it was by far the most delicious, as the turkey was literally falling off of the bones, and oozing with juices. And although we all expected a 4:30AM visit to the hospital for food poisoning, such an occurrence did not… occur (too lazy to thesaurus that one). And yes, if you are interested, I will be cooking turkeys for hire starting next November if an amazing, heart-attack inducing meal, intrigues you.

Aside from Thanksgiving, the other exciting news in my life is the news of the future (and no, don't worry, I haven't found my African queen yet). In approximately 1 day, I will be departing for Dar es Salaam, Tanzania, to partake in a 16-day adventure across several African countries. Meeting up with two friends from high school & college (Steve Black & Steve Suarez), we will be spending one night in the city of Dar, only to depart the next day to enjoy 6 sunsoaked days on the beaches of Zanzibar. After our departure from Zanzibar, and our farewell to Mr. Suarez, Mr. Black and I (this is stating to sound a bit like Reservoir Dogs), will embark on one of the greatest experiences known to the African traveler: Climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro.

A hike that takes you up to the 19,340 ft (5,845m) glacier-covered peaks of the mountain, we will spend 6 days, hiking through rain forests, barren wasteland, and of course freezing temperatures, in our attempt to summit the tallest freestanding mountain in the world. I imagine our journey will be quite a breeze, especially since my training regimen has been comprised of two 10-minute walks on the treadmill (cut short due to boredom and slight exhaustion). After a hopefully successful climb, we will spend the next few days in Kenya, before I depart back to South Africa. Nevertheless, blogs on hold for a few weeks, as I don't think wireless comes in too well at the top of Kili.

Onto this weeks lesson:

“Learn me something something about South Africa.”

This Week's Topic: Malaria Drugs

Similar to the worst flu you’ve ever had in your life, x 10, the effects of Malaria are just slightly worse than the drugs utilized to prevent it. With millions of prescription drugs lining the shelves of pharmacies, only three drugs encompass the potential to prevent Malaria (best to worst):

1. Malarone – Effective. Limited side-effects. Cost = $10/pill (given my trip to malaria country is 16 days long, and you take the pill for about +/- a week before/after, I’ll have to pass on forking over $200 for some pills).

2. Mefloquin – Effective. Cheap. Side effects include inability to think. Yes, to think. Hallucination-induced dreams also have been known to accompany this drug, although its main effect (which I experienced the last time in Africa) is the destruction of every brain cell in your body. It’s like taking your mental state after a period of 48 hours with no sleep, and stretching that out over the course of 5-6 weeks (since the pill is continued 4 weeks after leaving the Malaria region). And then of course there is the feeling of having just drank burning acid after each pill is digested. We may have a winner here...

3. Doxycylcine – Effective. Cheap. Recreates Malaria through its side effects. No thanks

Although it was a tough decision as to which drug to take to prevent Malaria, Mefloquin won the race. Thus, if my next blog makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, then I think you have your reasoning...


Onto the pics...

	Hanging out with the fattest turkey in Africa
	Gobble Gobble
	Kevin searching for the "bloody wishbone"
	The aftermath of our feast
	Beach Party at Tiger Tiger -- setting up shop on the dance floor with our towels, umbrella, coozies (sp?) and of course cooler of ice to hold the 2 for 1 beers
	Virtual Tornado in action
	no comment required

Cape Town - Weeks 9 - 10

Is it sad that I have been spending hours on end thinking of how to approach this blog? In a period of 14 days, where more has occurred than in the 2 months in which I have been in South Africa, the only way to recap the past few weeks in less-than-novel-length is not an easy task. Nevertheless, here goes nothing.

My first visitor arrived into Cape Town last Saturday, and thus threw me into a weeks worth of travel, adventure and stories galore. With all of South Africa within arms reach, we managed to pack in as many activities as possible:

- Visiting the Cape Town Markets: A few good hours spent bargaining African-made items from prices as high as R300 down to R50 – “Oh man, that’s too expensive. Didn’t want to spend that much. How much do I want to spend? Hmmm… I don’t know… I really only got 50 rand on me (which of course had been previously removed from my wallet and put in a separate pocket). 150? No man, sorry. Only got 50. 100? No, 50. 90? No, 50. 80? 50. 70? 50. 60? 50. 55? 50. Ok, 50. Thanks man.”

- Partaking on an African Safari: Although the 3 hour drive commenced with approximately negative animals within sight, and resembled more of a golf cart drive through the zoo, we did manage to get a taste of the African wild, seeing everything from Lions, Giraffe, Zebra, Buffalo, Rhino and Elephants, to Donkeys that apparently were pregnant with Zebra offspring = Zonkey – and no, I’m not even joking.

- Climbing Table Mountain: A 5-hour hike that seemingly lasted forever, we climbed a vertical height of 3,500 ft in less than 2 hours, only to spend the next 3 hours walking across a barren, foggy and windy wasteland, frightingly similar to a scene from “The Neverending Story.” And at the end, our only reward for the arduous journey was to end up in the clouds of Table Mountain, unable to see much of anything from our vantage point at the absolutely freezing and windy top. Good times!

- Driving through the Garden Route: An area known as one of the most beautiful in the world, our drive through the Garden Route was comprised of approximately 1500KM of driving, one ride upon the back of an ostrich in Outdshoorn (no trip to Africa is complete without this adventure), ziplining through the trees of the Tsitsikamma National Park, and about 45 minutes at the beach in Plettenberg Bay (as this was all the time we had left to fit in for some good sun-soaking action). Oh yes, and of course a visit to the true southernmost point of Africa (after learning that Cape Point is not the actual southernmost point, although any Cape Tonian will tell you it is).

- Beach, Bars and Bites: As to avoid a stop-til-you-drop itinerary, I made sure we had plenty of time to explore the various clubs, windy beaches, and of course a sampling of just some of the many various foods of Africa.

After managing a 7-hour drive back from the Garden Route, I awoke the next day, only to begin another full-day of activities, as I had officially been enrolled in “The Amazing Race – Return of the Legend.” Similar to a scavenger or photo hunt, the Amazing Race involved running around Cape Town and the Cape Peninsula, attempting to complete as many clues as possible, in the shortest amount of time. With activities ranging anywhere from jumping into a fountain to kayaking in the Indian Ocean, our day was made that much more entertaining as our team was dressed in the theme of “African Maids.” Unfortunately, our outfits did not last long, in-turn, enabling us to win the R200 prize of “Most Naked Team.” While we unfortunately placed 2nd overall in the race, our competition was fierce, ranging from 8 girls running around in mini-skirts (1st place team), to the 1978 South African Badminton Team (best dressed) to the Elvis Impersonators. And although I would love to share photos from the day, the majority of pictures are “blog-censored-material,” as nudity earned your team extra points for each activity performed (e.g. Ride on top of a lion statue = Ride on top of a lion statue… naked).

And FINALLY, I would like to add the exciting news that I have been rehired (and soon to be refired) from the Cape Times! After a surprising invite to a dinner commemorating the departure of five future winemakers of Cape Town, myself and Katie attended a VIP dinner in which the head of the Department of Agriculture spoke about the future of South Africa’s wine industry (it’s safe to say that we felt a bit out of place). And although the picture of three of the “sommeliers” came out quite nice, I later realized I needed all five in the picture, and unfortunately was unable to obtain a “viable” photo of them all. Thus, despite the picture below being published in the paper, it unfortunately was not what was expected…

Due to the length of this weeks blog, I decided to exclude the “Learn Me Something Something About Africa” section, to prevent the inevitable case of "blog boredom."

Onto the pics...

	On top of Table Mountain - You can tell how warm it is up there
	Elephants!
	Ziplining in the Tsitsikamma National Park
	Male and Female Bob the Builders
	Picturesque view along the Garden Route
	Southernmost point of Africa - Where the freezing cold Atlantic Ocean meets the just-a-tad-above-freezing Indian Ocean -- It is almost guaranteed that you legs will go numb within 5 minutes of being in the water
	Guillllllllll (my old Swiss roommate) was in-town for a few nights
	Gaming some Ostriches
	Katie and I along the Garden Route
	Cape Times shoot - The guys did an amazing job of trying to look as natural as possible in a less than natural surrounding (random wine shop in a hotel lobby)
	The Amazing Race - Team Domestic