Oh man, where to start this week. Unfortunately, my week excluded any photo shoots for the Cape Times (somehow managed to screw that one up pretty well), flights on a Gyrocopter, or even a Rugby World Cup Final match to watch (although there was the celebration parade this Monday morning -- thus the reason for my delay in posting the blog til now as I was a bit low on blog-worthy pics).
Anyhoo, I was quite happy to commence my week with a Monday night out at Mercury. Referred to in a previous blog, Mercury is the equivalent of an 80s/90s rock bar, playing every single classic rock song from Green Day – “When I Come Around” to Bon Jovi – “It's My Life.” With a crowd that exudes non-stop energy, Mercury has officially become my favorite night out of the week (despite the pre-teeny crowd it tends to draw in). However, this week… well this week was quite different. I’m not sure to whom the memo was sent out, although I did not receive any such notification of the “rainbow-filled” night which was celebrated this past Monday. Now, by no means am I at all homophobic. I am quite supportive of anyone’s right to choose with whom they wish to be with. However, when my favorite night out turns into an evening of half-naked men prancing around the bar, smacking eachother on their asses, and waving their shirts wildly in the air, well… lets just say it was hard to establish a level of comfort in such surroundings. And when the patented 2am mosh pit turned into more of an orgy, I decided it was time to call it quits, have my nightly Boerevors (the most amazing bratwurst equivalent in the world), and hit the sack.
Aside from a night of exploring the unique sexual behavior patterns of South Africa’s gay male population, I did manage to make my first trip to Stellenbosch, the wine capital of South Africa. Equivalent to Napa or Sonoma Valley in the amazing number of wine farms in the area, Stellenbosch also boasts approximately 17,000 college students, making it one of the rare college/vineyard towns in the world. In a night full of amazing highlights, the greatest involved running into my 1st American since my arrival here (yes, it’s been 8 weeks and I had yet to meet an American up to this point). While initially I thought the hippyish Californian was messing with me, and attempting to mock my American accent (which stands out here as much as an elephant would in the middle of Central Park), I soon realized that I was face-to-face with the literal definition of a “surfer dude.” Sporting the amazingly popular name of Mark, my new American friend was visiting SA to see his “boera-girl” (aka, Afrikaans girlfriend), and was just as happy to meet a fellow “yank.” After a brief conversation regarding what brought each of us halfway across the world to a country rarely travelled to by USers, we parted ways, only to run into eachother approximately 5 hours later at another “beverage-serving institution.”
After a great night out that brought back memories of roaming around South U during a U of M summer (Jim/Grace, hopefully you aren’t the only two that can relate to this one), my next day in Stellenbosch involved visiting one of the most famous vineyards in the area - Spiers. Promoting an atmosphere that resembled more of a recycled jungle-gym thrown into the midst of an African village, I was quite honored when provided the opportunity to teach the local bartenders my favorite morning concoction – a Mimosa. Although I originally received a full glass of champagne, and a completely separate jug (yes, jug) of orange juice, I managed to describe in detail, how to create this delicious AM delight. And although I received a look of "why the hell would you ever drink that," I was still happy that I could bring a little bit of America all the way over here to Africa.
Onto this weeks lesson:
“Learn me something something about South Africa.”
This Week's Topic: The Rules of Driving
While mentioned quite frequently in past blogs, driving in South Africa tends to be one of the most interesting and nerve-racking experiences. With all the opportunity in the world to enforce the well-established rules of driving which we follow back home, South Africans take any opportunity to avoid such rules, and drive as lawlessly as possible. Below is just a sample of some of the common driving “techniques” found throughout this country:
- Driving in one’s own lane is unacceptable. You must only drive in the middle of two lanes, in the lane of opposing traffic, or on the sidewalk
- When driving distances greater than 20 meters, the only acceptable way of driving is to floor the accelerator until needing to slam on the brakes. Coasting or steady acceleration/decleration are completely prohibited
- You may only hoot (aka “honk”) your horn if you are 110% sure that this action will not cause your life to be in dire danger
- Driving unknowingly through a red light is quite easy, as traffic lights, instead of being properly placed over intersections, are instead hidden off to the side of the road, usually behind trees, bushes, or even street signs placed conveniently in front of them
- Instead of deer running across the highway, the next closest (and more common) obstacle are people, darting across lanes without any worry of being struck by an oncoming vehicle. A common technique utilized is to pretend to run, hesitate, and then dash across the road only once the driver has removed their foot from the brake after the initial "false attempt"
- Mini-bus taxis do not need to obey any rules. While all they worry about is finding their next passenger, you must constantly worry about avoiding them, as they will cross 4 lanes of traffic (even those in the opposite direction) to pick up an awaiting traveler -- thus, the goal here is to do anything in your power to avoiding driving next to, nearby, in front of, or behind one (this is quite impossible as they are literally everywhere)
- Pedestrians never have the right of the way. Even if the crosswalk says walk, and all lights are red, you must only cross at your own expense. No exceptions.
In following such rules, I was quite proud when my first vehicle-related accident did not involve any of the aforementioned dangers. Instead, I found myself in a frightingly Seinfeldish scene, whereby a pigeon refused to move out of the way of my vehicle, as I attempted to park at a gas station, causing me to unknowingly drive into a wall at 2KM/hr in an attempt to avoid it. While quite terrified that the crunching noise coming from the front of my car was a dead pigeon beneath my tire, I instead was quite relieved when determining that the noise instead was my bumper running into the 2 foot wall in front of me. Damnit.
Onto the pics...
 | I gotta include a classic night shot out -- Me and the "boys" out and about |
 | Promoting some African face paint at the "jungle gym" vineyard. Don't ask why the lady felt I needed puppy paw prints on my face instead of an actual African design... |
 | Young little Bokke supporter |
 | Mom, I know she's not Jewish, but we're in love... |
 | Our sign depicting a Springbok "mounting" an English Bulldog was definitely a hit with the team |
 | Brian Habana -- quite possibly one of the fastest athletes in the world -- hoisting the World Cup Championship trophy (he loved our sign too) |
 | Long Street during the parade -- a "hectic" scene depicting the fact that not one person in all of Cape Town went to work today... |
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